“If I had only known then, what I know now…”

Terri Murphy writes: 

I recently attended the college graduation of our friend’s young daughter and found myself saying that specific line several times during the course of the festivities. It made me think…

Why is it that wisdom usually arrives so long after we could have used it?

Today’s society is inundated with “youth focus”.  As women, we spend billions of dollars on creams, salves, gadgets, injectables, wax, surgery and the list goes on to look better on the outside….

And I’m certainly in the group that fights the aging thing like a warrior, but after observing these young adults, it occurred to me in full authenticity, that I was beyond delighted not to be at that age anymore.  I was actually quite okay with being my over 50 year old person ….and at this point with a higher degree of wisdom…and that is a good thing! 

I remember cramming lots of activities in a day as I struggled to find out who I was, to relinquish the approval of others, to figure out what truly made me joyful, what my idea of fun was without having to please everybody else in my life.   I remember that sometimes I was so disconnected from my own self that I couldn’t tell you what I really wanted.  And the guilt, oy veh! …The guilt I would endure for even thinking of doing something I would have wanted to do.

At that point of my life, it was so easy for others to intimidate me, make me feel “bad” because I was less educated, had less money,  felt left out, un- cool, not good enough, not smart enough, and every other outside measure we seem to hold in such high esteem. If we are lucky, we eventually learn to see how truly wonderful we are on the inside, regardless of what “they” see on the outside…

Wisdom in personal and professional situations is an earned commodity.  It occurred to me that the retrospection provided me with a view of sheer satisfaction; I can appreciate in seeing just how far I had come from that point in my own life.

I connected with how grateful I was for having the peace and acceptance of myself for who I was on the inside, as well as what I’m able to patch up on the outside.

How does this translate to women in business?

Wisdom imparts an unshakeable confidence that transforms our own personal power and the authentic strength of that wisdom permeates every facet of our lives. Whether in the board room or the home, when our confidence level is healthy, our decision making is based on response and not reaction and the results of that wisdom of our decisions reign.… 

So how about it?   Take out a picture of “when”…when we were younger, and seriously thank yourself for doing such a great job of developing into a most magnificent person, a good friend, a loving mother, a kind neighbor, a compassionate human being that has been there and done that.  Be grateful for the adventure you have lived to date, because every step of the way has made you the survivor you are.  Take a minute to thank yourself for doing the best you could at the time.

Forgive yourself for the dumber mistakes you may have made because if you had only known then what you know now, you may have made other choices. 

Right now…start living your best life ever…..